In the world where social media is a way of life, it is so easy to lose our authentic self to a world of judgment and preconceptions. Inundated with daily notifications on what is happening with other people’s lives either gives us encouragement for self-motivation or disheartenment at times when we feel inadequate of ourselves.
“Be a first rate version of yourself, not a second-rate version of someone else.” – Judy Garland
Steps to Finding Your Authentic Self
Research suggests that authentic people are well-liked, and they benefit from social support and the many other positive outcomes associated with enjoying close relationships with others.
So how to battle depression when negativity starts to creep into our mind? How to be happy with one’s self to feel awesome again?
1. Pay attention. Observe. Sense Your Feelings.
This step may sound simple but is profound. When you take the time to pause and stop, sensing your thoughts and feelings can be scary or challenging.
At times when you feel inadequate, ask yourself what is it that you really feel? Because inadequacy is actually not a feeling. It is a thought and is different from real feelings. Thoughts trap us in the detracting images of other people or the high standards of ourselves.
Meanwhile, a real feeling should free us from the bondage of perfection and help us be in touch with our true authentic self. It is the acknowledgement that as humans, we are imperfect, we are vulnerable and it’s alright to feel sad, fearful, angry, uncomfortable, tired, lonely, worried, anxious, frustrated, impatient, frustrated, weary or despondent.
Identify your real feelings and own it.
“Choosing authenticity means cultivating the courage to be imperfect, to set boundaries, and to allow ourselves to be vulnerable; exercising the compassion that comes from knowing that we are all made of both strength and struggle.” – Brene Brown
2. Believe In Your Worthiness.
“When we can let go of what other people think and own our story, we gain access to our worthiness—the feeling that we are enough just as we are and that we are worthy of love and belonging…not later, not if, but now.”
There is no one else who can love yourself better than you. How can you share the love if you are an empty cup? It is not being selfish, it is self-caring. The love we ask from others can never fully satisfy us unless we develop it from ourselves.
Practice self-kindness by being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, rather than ignoring our pain or flagellating ourselves with self-criticism.
Self-worthiness is developed from doing what you love or loving what you do.
3. Choose Your Values. Prioritise.
To become fully human means learning to turn my gratitude for being alive into some concrete common good. It means growing gentler toward human weakness. It means practising forgiveness of one’s and everyone else’s failures. – Brene Brown
What makes you feel alive? Do it. What is it that truly inspires you waking up every day? Write it. What or who matters most to you? Keep them close to you. Prioritise.
Be you and do your own thing.
“Stop giving people the power to steal your peace. It belongs to you and no one should be able to run away with it.” – A Elle
4. Nurture Connections and Belongingness
Nurturing the connection and sense of belonging can only happen when we believe that we are enough. Next, find some people who earned the right to hear our story.
Having a bunch of friends does not equate to having a high quality of relationships. Sometimes the decrease in the size of your circle means an increase in value. So choose the people that surround you who will make you feel awesome again. Share and feel belong again in the wheel of life.
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- You’re Made for a God-Sized Dream: Opening the Door to All God Has for You
- Declutter Your Mind: How to Stop Worrying, Relieve Anxiety, and Eliminate Negative Thinking
- Get Over Your Damn Self: The No-BS Blueprint to Building a Life-Changing Business
- 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, Work and Confidence with Everyday Courage
- Eat That Frog: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time